*Alicia and I are walking through a TV studio and come across Auditorium A.
Aliche: What's in here?
Me: Beats me. We could go see what show they're taping.
Aliche: ok.
*So we go in.

Scene: Auditorium A
*There are chairs in rows, like at a movie theatre, going right down to the stage. The stage has a talk show setting on it, like 'Oprah' or 'Letterman' or something. There is a guy with a camera nearby, taping the show.
Camera guy: And.....action!
*This green-haired lady enters from one side of the stage. This auburn-haired chick who has her hair in a loose ponytail enters from the other. They are both wearing their respective villain costumes.
MC Voice: And now it's time for...'The Zoycite and Emerald Hour'!!!
Me and Aliche: (hair on end) AAAAAAAH!
Me: Oh, no. The two most annoying characters on Sailor Moon have a show together.
Alicia: For an hour.
*We fall over with a thud and all you can see is our legs sticking up.

Hi. Our first guest tonite is that guy in the sixth row with shocking red hair... Rubeus, I think.
You should know. You were the one that killed him.
(Ed. note: And somehow, he's alive again.)
(nervous grin) oh...yeah. Well, anyway, COME ON DOWN!!!!!
*Rubeus comes up onto the stage and sits across from Emmy.
So, Rubeus, my first question is: why do you wear earrings and a necklace? Is it because you're gay? Zoycite should know all about that! (Emerald laughs)
(jumps up) ZOI!!!
*All this pink crap hits Emerald, knocking her over.
Ok, this is my interview now. So Rubeus, why did you break up with Catsy?
Because she was in love with me. I don't do stupid things like fall in love. I don't have enough time for that.
But, like, wouldn't her liking you cause you to fall in love back? I mean, she's good looking.
Nope. My logic dictates that if someone actually likes me in a relationship to ditch 'em. I've got a mission and it can't get in the way.
(curtly) Ok...we'll let you get back to that mission....(snaps her fingers)
*A bunch of thugs come up on stage, pull Rubeus off stage, and beat the crap out of him.
(through her teeth) Now that that ______ is gone, can we have our next guest?
*Emerald had gotten back up and is sitting in her chair next to Zoycite.
That would be........Catsy! Uh,... yo? Where is she?
*Catsy is in the back alley helping those thugs beat up Rubeus.
Ok, she's....busy. Can we have, uh,....(she looks at an index card she's holding with a name on it) Tetis? Come up here.
*A beer bottle comes flying up on stage, hitting Emerald.
*From the Audience: A blue-haired girl threw it, and yells, "TITUS!!!"
Oops. Well, get up here.
*Titus goes up there and sits across from Emerald.
Gee, I didn't mean to mispronounce your name.
(pulling a bottle of vodka from her purse and swiging it) it's ok.
So, how's it going with Jedite?
*She gets the vodka bottle chucked at her.
Shaddup! (starts to cry) I wasn't good enough for that ________ so he dumped me, that good for nuthin' brother! He wouldn't even make love to me! (she starts to dish on national TV.)
*From the audience a blonde haired 20-something jumps up.
HEY! Half that crap ain't even true! Shut up! You're wrecking me!
*He runs up on stage, grabs Titus, and starts to strangle her.
I never liked you, there was no relationship, and there's no way I'd do it with you!
Then how come you got me drunk and tried to seduce me?
You were already drunk and you tried to seduce me!
*They get into a fistfight.
(nervous grin and BIG sweatdrop) Um, well, isn't this nice? Lovers reunited.
*Zoycite snaps her fingers and a bunch of thugs come and drag Jed and Titus off stage.
Let's see what Catsy is up to.
*Catsy is still in the alley, beating the hell out of Rubeus and swearing at him. Her sister comes over.
Uh, Catsy, honey, I think he's dead. Why don't you come home now.
*Catsy breaks down sobbing and Prisma leads her away from the alley.

Scene: Studio

Uh, I guess she won't be able to make it....
*Zoycite checks her watch. Her eyes light up.
Hey, Emerald! Guess what! It's time for our song and dance segment!
*Zoycite rips off her villain costume and she has a showgirl costume on underneath. The music comes on.
(to the tune of 'Jingle Bells') Zoi, zoi, zoi! Zoi, zoi, zoi! Zoi, zoi, zoi, zoi, zoi!
(she laughs.) Wah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Me and Alicia: (a la Macaulay Caulkin) AAAAAAAAAAAAH!